Tainted By Tingles

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Do you ever find yourself wondering what it feels like to be ‘normal’? Eight years on from my diagnosis I think I’ve officially forgotten what it was like.

What was it like to feel my feet, and to have boundless energy to do boundless things in a boundless way? What does it feel like to stand for several minutes in a queue without feeling like you’re about to collapse any second? How are these other people doing it? Don’t they need to sit down?

How is that mother running after her toddler? How is that man riding his bike up that hill? How is this old lady walking faster than me? How is that other man walking with his head held up? Doesn’t he need to watch the ground to see where he is going? How does he not fall flat on his face? Why is everyone always in such a rush?

Why do people arrange to meet so late in the day? How is 8 o’clock acceptable? Don’t they know that’s bedtime? How are those parents happily standing outside the school gates? How can they be chatting away so merrily as if they don’t need to sit down? How are the women standing for so long in line for the loo? How have they not wet themselves by now? And.. don’t they need to sit down?

How is that couple able to walk their dog all the way up that street and not even look for a bench along the way? How do they keep going? Don’t they need to sit down?

What must it be like to plan a day full of things to do and then do those things and then still have energy to do more things and more after that?

What must it be like to be ‘normal’?

And

What must it be like to not be
forever
tainted
by
tingles?

1 thought on “Tainted By Tingles

  1. Thankyou for this post. I frequently feel like this. Yesterday I was envious of my dad being able to run up the stairs – he is 28 years older than me and gets a pension! How does he manage to do it????????

    Like

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