– Pair of diving flippers for your feet
– 4 strap-on 10kg weights for each hand and foot (usually on a buy one get one free offer)
– Tub of Vaseline and pair of ill-fitted glasses (smear the Vaseline on the lenses & wear)
– Gloves – to numb the feeling in your fingertips
– A belt to fasten around your waist on the tightest setting
– A tub of fire ants & empty all over your arms to recreate that inexplicable burning, tingly feeling.
– Strait-jacket-style trousers/pants/knickers just to make a trip to the loo that little bit harder (You’ll also need some spare trousers/pants/knickers for when you wet yourself)
– Finally sit on the floor cross-legged with your hands under your bottom for 2 hours or however long it takes for your legs & hands to get tight, numb, achy and pins & needley. Repeat as necessary to create a never-ending sensation.
– Oh, and make sure any items you buy are invisible; we wouldn’t want anyone to see why you may be struggling.
Disclaimer – The above list refers to the ‘Emily’ brand of MS only, other brands are available from all good retailers.
First published 29 September 2016